I’m all alone
In this dark tent
And I think about what you told me
My dear Ann
“Make our nation proud john
Prouder then any man could have ever done”
As I lie in this tent
I wonder about the choices I’ve made
This new way of life
And being away from home
I don’t know why I ever chose
Such dim-witted choices
Let me assure
If I could go back
I would never have left you
Trudging barefoot in the trenches
I only think of you
As the rest of the men who fought with me die
I only think of you
I fire cannons with hopes
That you get to live a harm-free life
I would lie at night
Every night
Count the stars
And wait for my death
Wondering when it would be my turn
To die from gas
From a canon
Or shot between the eyes
As soon as there is the loud
BOOMOf a cannon
I close my eyes
And hope it’s me
Who gets the privilege to die
As I lie in this tent
My legs blown off my body
I question my actions
Why did I ever decide
To volunteer for a death sentence?
Why did I ever climb into
No Man’s Land?
Your last letter saddens me, my love
When our sonwill arrive into this harsh world
Tell him that I love him
More than any man could
Lastly my love
I say goodbye
I know I cannot last
And my time has come
When the time comes you will see me again
Maybe not in this world but in a world
Where you, our son, and I
Can be free from
This brutal treatment
Images from:
http://library.georgetown.edu/dept/speccoll/britpost/p9l.jpg
http://videoindex.pbs.org/resources/greatwar/images/ph_26.jpg
http://z.about.com/d/history1900s/1/0/O/3/wwi16.gif
http://www.wereldoorlog1418.nl/warpictures/trenches/images-trenches/03-german-trench-gw000.jpg
http://us.altermedia.info/images/WW1.jpg
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Poem
Posted by Sami at 6:15 AM
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2 comments:
Hey Sami
Your poem is awesome and has a lot of emotion which add to the depth of it. I epically like the loving emotions between him and his lover ann and the extra emotion when you included his son. I think next time you should use maybe more alliteration or onomatopoeia.
:D
I thought that you did really well using some of the poetic devices, such as onomatopoeia, repetition, and sensory detail. Though you only used onomatopoeia once, it fit well where you put it, it really made you hear and feel the boom of the cannon. Also, repetition was the poetic device you used the most. Ypu used repetition in almost every stanza which made the message you were trying to tell very strong and powerful. I also thought that your poem was very creative and not like every other poem.
The thing you could improve on is using more poetic devices like metaphors and similes. You could also use some more onomatopoeia and hyperbole's. Also, on some places you could have used more vivid verbs. But all in all you did a veryyy good job!
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